You’ve Got To Do It Yourself

I had lunch today with an extraordinary young Black man. At the age of 25 he had already graduated from college, Graduate school and was a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). If that wasn’t enough he also had corporate experience at PricewaterhouseCoopers. As we talked he said something that struck me. He said, “Basically, you have to understand that you’ve got to do it yourself.”

He didn’t mean you shouldn’t seek help or that your success depends on you alone. What he meant was that you have to discipline yourself to reach your goals. He put it this way, “People have to realize that when you take the exam, you take it by yourself.” Therefore, you have to discipline yourself to put in the hours it takes to be prepared.

This young man clearly understands this. And as a result he can pretty much do whatever he wants. He is so far ahead of his peers that the world is truly his. It was also nice to see with all that talent he was one of the most humble people I’ve ever met. As I said to him jokingly, “Use your powers for good, please! Because if you decide to be a criminal you’ll be one of the smartest criminals out there.” Laughing he said he would “use his powers for good.”

I bring up my meeting with this young man because he has a powerful message for those who want to change their lives: Only YOU can change your life. Other people can suggest, encourage, even give you resources. But in the end “you have to take the exam alone.” Whatever the “exam” is for you. Whether that be going back to high school or college. Pursuing a career you’ve always wanted to pursue. Or getting out of a negative situation. Whatever it is – it is YOUR challenge to overcome. Other people can help you and support you, but you’ve got to do it yourself.

As I look back over my own life I am please at the fact that I have no regrets. That is because everything I wanted to pursue, I did. I am not saying everything always worked out the way I wanted it to. But today I’m not wishing I did this or that. I did it. I wanted to graduate from college, I did. I wanted to graduate from Graduate school, I did. I wanted to move to New York City from California, I did. I wanted to leave New York City and move to Charlotte, I did that too. I wanted to start my own business, I did (twice). And I continue to plan and pursue my goals as I did when I was 25 like the young man I had lunch with today.

As we left the restaurant and headed back to our cars, I left him with this: “Continue to use your time wisely, as you’ve done so well to this point. Remember, time is the only thing you can’t get back. You can get back money if you lose it. But you can’t get back time. So make it count.” We shook hands, he nodded in agreement, and we headed back to work. -CB